First: "That makes me deeply uncomfortable, so I'm going to leave"
Second: Tough to say, probably nothing if that's the end of the communication. I hear stories pretty regularly of men being misled into taking someone out on the first date, paying for it, and then finding out a second date or anything beyond that was never on the table for one reason or another. It's definitely rude and vulgar, and people should reserve that for special cases.
You sound bitter about women saying "yeah I'll give it a try, I guess" instead of just saying "no". That first date that probably won't be a second date is your chance to do your sales pitch.
Overall, I think people are bitter that dating has such a low probability chance in providing the outcome they desire. But you have to know that going in; "you look good in these 3 pictures and I liked your witty quote" is not necessarily going to lead to a lifetime of happiness. You probably have to expect 1000 failures for every success. But you only need one success.
I can see how I sound that way, but im saying so I think you're assuming more than you should. I meant more like going out on that first date, and then finding out she's a lesbian, but:
> That first date that probably won't be a second date is your chance to do your sales pitch.
Is the ideal case, and would be the nature of a good date if those were the parameters within which both parties agreed to go out, but if I was actually bitter about:
> "yeah I'll give it a try, I guess" instead of just saying "no"
I would think that would be a somewhat justified reason to be pissed, maybe, depending on how the circumstances came about and how frequently that occurs, because it's a failure of communication that's quite pervasive and imo insidious outside and inside dating. Conflict avoidance in general leads to ghosting, excessively specific expectations regardless of sex, ambiguity around consent, and not being able to say "no" is a bad thing.
> Overall, I think people are bitter that dating has such a low probability chance in providing the outcome they desire. But you have to know that going in; "you look good in these 3 pictures and I liked your witty quote" is not necessarily going to lead to a lifetime of happiness. You probably have to expect 1000 failures for every success.
This part I mostly agree with. It's at least an admirable level of pain tolerance and persistence that one would hope pays off eventually, as well as a good way to align yourself.
> But you only need one success.
If you get really lucky, one success, but let's be real, it's hard to nail it one go, let alone 2 or 3, so I disagree needing one success.
Ultimately I don't personally have any reason to be bitter, but I have a lot of early 30s single friends that just... aren't really having much luck for a variety of reasons, including those mentioned above. My friends of both genders, at this point in their life, seem to have a perfect image of what they'd want in a partner, or an accumulation of red flags that—some of which—would be relatively trivial to overcome if you had an established friendship prior. Reminds me of Seinfeld a bit, someone gets caught picking their nose and you can't recover.
Second: Tough to say, probably nothing if that's the end of the communication. I hear stories pretty regularly of men being misled into taking someone out on the first date, paying for it, and then finding out a second date or anything beyond that was never on the table for one reason or another. It's definitely rude and vulgar, and people should reserve that for special cases.